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#23 I don’t know what to write

Posted: June 5th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Life | 6 Comments »

Inspiration didn’t come.

I hoped I’d learn something valuable, and to be able to deliver them to you, but I could write about nothing in the past week.

You think I’m enlightened, I’m not.

More than anything, I’m confused.

Here I am teaching you about consciousness, awakening and happiness – but in actual life, I realized pain is everywhere surrounding me. The only difference is while others would struggle through it, I’m just taking them in as is. Big difference? Nope. Happier? Certainly.

I just couldn’t understand how this world works.

And it doesn’t seem to hint an answer at how we could truly live in happiness.

What I’ve wrote about is as close to the answer as most humans are possibly able to realize.

So to further open another door to the answer seems really difficult at this stage for me.

My spiritual teacher Arjuna Ardagh and many others like Ram Dass, Adyashanti etc. are talking about a shift in the consciousness of mankind. They talked about how most people are awakening to this sense of consciousness, to know that humans aren’t supposed to live in the jail of our delusions anymore. But everyday everywhere I go, I sense no difference…

Are humans really awakening? No, allow me to correct my question. Is awakening really needed for the whole world?

Although things are going pretty smoothly for me, these questions kill my brains every single day.

Waking up – trying to release and accept things as is, I still couldn’t help but feel a sense of tremendous frustration for having to blend myself into the ‘hallucination of life.’

But I can’t do anything about it! Because I don’t know if I’m right. I don’t know if others are right either.

The only thing I know is I don’t know and reality isn’t giving us a clue clear enough to know which is the path we should thread on.

Damn.

What are we supposed to do, the great One?

Why do you help us awaken, but leave us with no clue about the role we should implement?

If so, why would you keep sufferings in the way of our lives – what are you trying to convey?

Living in the now is great, but let us know what we should do in the now at least.

That’s all I would ask to know.

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6 Comments on “#23 I don’t know what to write”

  1. 1 Lope said at 4:06 am on June 5th, 2009:

    All you’re supposed to be doing is whatever you want to do. Just keep your eyes open and enjoy life however you see fit. Pain is the path to growth. Without it, stagnation. Don’t look at suffering as something we should be trying to abolish. All parts of life are necessary elements. Just enjoy whatever you do. Much love.

  2. 2 vicky said at 2:59 pm on June 6th, 2009:

    Hi.. I just wanted to say i was moved and felt what you had written here.

  3. 3 olav said at 7:57 pm on June 7th, 2009:

    Life comes from desire. What is on your mind is that what keeps you busy. Observe that. Just observe your fixations. The fact that you torture your brain with thoughts of enlightment tells me you want to escape. Escape from what? Look closely. Look carefully. Only real interest will set free.

  4. 4 Him said at 5:20 am on June 8th, 2009:

    Thanks for your replies.

    I got something out of your words.

    Will refer to them again.

  5. 5 angela said at 3:07 pm on June 13th, 2009:

    Awakening is needed for the whole world, but not everyone will do it. People will ignore it, or are too lazy (or stubborn… or both) to change, while some people will get involved.

    I agree with the others – you should do what you love to do. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s going on (especially when you’re down, you think the whole world is like hell) but all our experiences have lessons that we must learn from. Don’t think it’s like, “I should’ve done this, I should’ve done that” because if we keep doing that, we’ll should all over the place. (ok, you need to read that out in an Aussie accent, really fast to understand the ‘pun’ :p)

  6. 6 Him said at 1:42 pm on October 18th, 2009:

    Pun received Angela. :)

    Maybe I could write something on “No Shoulds.”

    Cause that’s where this path leads to, isn’t it?


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