Things were hectic for me these past few days.
I got into a long-drawn argument with one side of my parent.
One of those that some might perhaps regret over for a long time.
I know it is preventable. And as someone who preaches nonduality, my actions could even prove to be hypocritic. Isn’t everything perfect in its own way, so there shouldn’t be anything that I should fight against?
All I knew was, I was not going to be bound.
I was not going to stay patient anymore with circumstances pressuring me down.
Because I deserve to get real as well.
The problem is I have the intelligence to see through the problems in every situation.
I can identify what’s wrong, and what should be absolutely done in every moment.
Most of the times, people just chose to let the bad situations go.
Let them go as they are because, ‘we’ don’t want to mess things up.
‘We’ don’t want to be seen as the bad guys, the problem-makers, or the abnormal kind.
But as this character, I can not be satisfied seeing things worsen without doing anything to change it.
That’s why the arguments had to happen sometimes, all for a better future.
In the end, despite the ‘scars’ edged on my body as a result of my struggle in the journey of life, my heart will be alive because I’ve done what I truly deem as right.
I’m going to keep hanging on with my actions until things are headed in the direction where my eyes are set upon.
No matter what happens as a result, it is what it is.
What’s most important is only having myself walk the way that I truly want to walk on.
For the very last time –
I’ve decided to abandon formal university education.
And will continue to learn only what is practical for this real life.
In the end, I couldn’t turn a blind eye towards what is right and wrong for me.
To me on a battlefield, theories about swordfight will benefit one very little.
The practice of lifting up a sword to either save or kill on the otherhand, that’s far more valuable.
As such, I’m going to exchange my formal education with a career.
Even if it means that my future job prospects may be bleak.
Age 21 this year, I hereby swear myself off all imposterisation.
And would fight against all consequences to remain as much as possible a man of his truest intent.
Fighting in this case, then prove not to be against my own teachings of not struggling after all.
For I feel so much freer as a result.
Especially when compared to one whose genuine expressions are buried by the emotional & psychological baggages that he/she gathered in life – never able to break free, because nothing was ever done to change the circumstances.
For happiness, the fight for one’s own freedom is crucial.
And I will never give up.