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#139 The Voice of Patience, by Leo Babauta

Posted: October 10th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Life | 5 Comments »

There are moments when other people just set you off, and you lose your patience.

It is the downfall of many of us — coworkers, children, spouses, other drivers, irritating people on the subway — they can grate, they can anger.

And it can ruin your day. You clench your jaw, you replay imaginary arguments in your head, or worse, you snap. And then you feel like crap.

How can we find the patience?

I will admit that I’m no saint. Just like everyone else, I get annoyed, and I will say things in a less-than-kind tone. I’m learning.

Here’s what helps me:

First, I learn to be aware of the emotions that rush up from nowhere.

I learn to accept those emotions as perfectly fine.

And I watch them, but don’t act.

I will talk to those emotions, like they’re a little child: it’s OK to be mad, but breathe. Talk to the other person, after you’ve calmed down, about the problem.

And then I breathe.

I remind my childlike emotions: other people are different, and that’s good. Celebrate humanity and all its glorious varieties. When people live and work together, there will be friction, and that is a part of the mix of humanity.

I remind: life is too short to waste my days in irritation and anger. Don’t let other people’s problems become my own.

I then give thanks. Gratitude solves all problems. I am grateful for having this friend, or stranger, in my life, and I’m grateful for the chance to even be here, and for the incredible life I have.

I talk to the other person, when I’ve calmed down, with compassion. I respond with love. It often will melt the other person’s jagged edges, and things will go better.

Patience isn’t an easy thing, but the alternative is much worse. Love will triumph if you let it.

(To learn more from Leo, please kindly visit http://www.zenhabits.net)

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5 Comments on “#139 The Voice of Patience, by Leo Babauta”

  1. 1 Francesco said at 10:46 pm on October 13th, 2015:

    Hello,Mr. Blundell1 What a great post this is. I can do all of this! I love that this was posted on my husabnd’s birthday, and we pretty much did much of this list, as opposed to the extravagant obligatory night-in-the-City we both thought the other wanted.Thanks for visiting our blog. I like this place. I’ll be back.

  2. 2 http://jennkaplan.com/ said at 3:36 am on April 3rd, 2016:

    I’m impressed by your writing. Are you a professional or just very knowledgeable?

  3. 3 http://www.ionicbathfootdetox.com/ said at 9:09 am on April 29th, 2016:

    Is HAMAS the mirror image of Zionism?Only if it took over the entirety of Israel, acquired a 11-figure military budget, and commenced a policy of ethnic cleansing of non-Arabs for the next 6 or 7 decades.

  4. 4 http://www.rehabsandrentals.com/ said at 9:33 am on May 13th, 2016:

    Ja, dette er sjarmerende!Syntes ungene skal få lov å regjere litt når det kommer til å pynte disse husene!! Ligner veldig på slik våre hus pleier å se ut ;o)Klem J.

  5. 5 http://www.ortoplusbl.com/ said at 11:44 pm on June 27th, 2016:

    Hello.Merci pour ce concours.Topicrème m’a été proposé par ma pharmacienne,en même temps que les produits Avène.Je peux même les partager avec mon père,mais bizarrement,le packaging rose et blanc,il n’accroche pas trop.Mais ce sont de bons produits,pour ceux qui souffrent de problèmes de peaux.Je suis abonnée sur HC : Lulu VroumetteJ’aime les 2 pages FB : Pincée de ciel MBelle journée.Lucie


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